I enjoy my work. Or rather, my studies. I may loathe it at some points in time, especially when I am in the midst of a nearly 3-hour revision lecture, or when I encounter some group of absurd scientists who soem years ago, decided to come up with the intricacies of the NYHA system, drew up various split-hair methods of classifying B lymphomas and drafted logic-defying cephalosporin names which torment us with variants of cefo- and cepha- (for heaven's sake, could they just stick to one prefix?).
But still I enjoy my work: I was, after all, literally paid to study. With this much of tax-payer's money being invested in me, and with my absolute sacrosanct responsibility to my career, the community and the nation, I cannot afford to be slacking in my studies and become a 'fearsome' doctor that leaves scalpels in somebody's peritoneal cavity.
Well, but that really doesn't explain why I would prefer studying to sleep.
It really is something that I call passion. I desire and run after Learning. I have a dream I want to achieve, and a vision that I believe is achievable if I do my part and utmost best.
I believe that if we learn well, and knowing that knowledge is power - will it not, by the grace and will of God, be enough to open doors so that we can make a change in our healthcare system?
I choose to follow my dreams, and chase after what I delight in - erudition and knowledge - because I believe that to be a change-maker, we must first of all, change our minds and edify it in preparation for such a noble cause as ours.
And on a more practical level, to be honest, this dream can kind of seem daunting to us especially when we seem to have such little time and such boring books to swallow. but hey, think about it: I mean, it is always good to remember that there's always something new in the pages of that boring-looking Infectious Disease textbook, trust me after the first harrowing 3 to 4 pages, you will get a hang of it. Of course, I never start memorizing everything from the word 'go' - that sort of kills any budding interest in any subject - but I like to take my time to read and reflect about new facts. Then perhaps forget about them until I remember them maybe the next day or when they somehow become truly applicable one fine day next time at the wards.
In short, the reason why I am a workaholic when it comes to studies, projects and anything related to learning and academics is really because I believe that Passion is the fuel of life.
If you really have that innate desire of becoming that competent doctor any patient can trust; if you have that fear of misleading your charge; or if you have that persistent need to perfect what you know - that is real passion. Because if we have it not, then what else can propel us more strongly in our race for excellence? The fear of exams comes only 4 weeks before the real day; the fear of appearing dumb in a class full of students only occurs whenever you have picky lecturers; the fear of shame in a card-signing session only lasts for only a few days and everyone forgets; hence, are these things enough to fuel our need to better ourselves?
But the one thing that can and will remind us time and time again is the cause we fight for.